Michael

This is a transcript of Matthew Dicks’s story, Lemonade Stand, at a NYC Moth StorySLAM. You can watch Matthew telling the story here:

My parents didn’t have a lot of money when I was growing up. My mom was a disabled pharmacist and my evil stepfather was a psychiatric social worker, which actually enhanced his ability to be evil but did nothing for his earning potential. But I was lucky as a kid because, when it came to managing the meager sums in our house, my parents were exceptionally irresponsible. This sounds like a recipe for disaster, and it was. In a lot of ways, it destroyed our lives and our futures. But at the time, I was a boy, and boys are like goldfish— we can only see nine seconds ahead. So, all of my parents’ irresponsible decisions totally made sense to me at all times.

We were hungry growing up. There wasn’t always a lot of food. I was a free lunch kid, surviving on government cheese. But while we were hungry, we had five dogs at all times. The town limit, I think, was four, but we had five. As a boy, this was great because the only thing better than a dog is a lot of dogs. I loved that we had In Poco, Rags, Meiselmen (who was named after the doctor who did my father’s vasectomy), Polly (who was always getting knocked up by the Pomeranian across the street), and Pac-Man (who was named after my mother’s favorite video game, which she played on the Atari 5200, the most advanced game system at the time). But it was attached to the only television in the house, which was a 13-inch black-and-white TV that, on good days, got three channels. Things just didn’t make sense, but they seemed so right to me.

When I was 10, the furnace broke—like, really broke, like it can’t get fixed—and my parents’ solution was, “We will be cold.” And that worked. They were right; it worked, and we were cold. Then, the pipes started to freeze. The kids were already freezing, but the pipes started to freeze too. Eventually, they had to spring for a furnace. And for the next year, I just remember that birthdays were nothing, there was less food, and the electricity was getting shut off.

So, when I was 11, I decided I was going to take things into my own hands. I was going to change my dad. I was going to earn money for myself, so I opened a lemonade stand. My goal was to earn $100 by the end of the summer, which, at that time, would have been like a million dollars for me. I charged 10 cents a cup, which, if you do the math, means I needed to sell 1,000 cups of lemonade over the course of two months. But things weren’t going well. I lived on a street where cars go by at 50 miles an hour, so they barely stopped.

But one day, a father and son stopped. As I was pouring the lemonade, the kid saw my brother’s X-wing fighter at the top of the driveway. It was Star Wars, and it was the early ‘80s—Star Wars was everything. The kid tells me that he’s collecting action figures and is looking for Bossk. Now, Bossk is a bounty hunter from The Empire Strikes Back. He appears for like one second on screen, has no lines, but he has an action figure. And my brother has it. My brother has every action figure. I’m wearing my cousin Russell’s hand-me-down underwear, and he’s too big, so it’s like a lifetime of chafing for me, but my brother has every Star Wars figure in the world, because priorities are with my parents.

But I get an idea. I go to my bedroom and get my brother’s Bossk figure, and I bring it down. I tell the kid, “Do you want to buy my Bossk?” I offer it for $2, which turns out to be a very low, low number. I didn’t know it at the time, but for me, it’s 20 cups of lemonade that I now don’t have to sell. He buys it, and I suddenly realize I’m not in the lemonade business. I am in the selling-my-brother’s-and-sister’s-toys-out-from-under-them business.

So, I get my brother’s action figures, strip all the Barbie dolls from my sisters, and get those clothes. I start selling the toys to the people who are stopping for the lemonade, and now I’m really making some money. When the inventory gets low, I go next door to my grandfather’s house because he has these great picnics on Saturdays. I start clearing the good food off the tables and bringing it down to the lemonade stand. The fried chicken is unbelievable, and people are buying it.

By early August, I have $100, and I can’t believe it. I put it in this little blue Cub Scout wallet and put it under my pillow for safekeeping. Two days later, I go into my bedroom, and the pillow is pushed aside, and the wallet is gone. I know what happened. I go outside, and an hour later, I find what remains of the wallet. It’s in the backfield, and the money is in shreds, just spread out around the grass. I find six dollars of the hundred. Pac-Man ate my wallet. He eats everything. And my wallet smelled like fried chicken. If my nose could detect the fried chicken, I knew Pac-Man’s could too.

The irony that it’s Pac-Man who eats my wallet is not lost on me. I cry. I cry like I have never cried before. My mom comes to me, and I’m weeping. She expresses the requisite sympathy, but then she reminds me that I still have six dollars, so maybe there should be like a $94 cry and not a hundred-dollar cry. She thinks she’s being funny, but I’m just crying. Then, she gets mad at me and says, “It’s only money. You’re being ridiculous.” She thinks I was saving the money for myself. She doesn’t know that that was like insurance money, that I was going to use that money the next time the furnace broke or the next time the electricity got shut off or the next time there just wasn’t enough at dinner for all of us.

And she’s mad at me because I can’t tell her that I’m trying to save money because I’m living with people who can’t always take care of me in the way that I think they should.

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This is a transcript of Matthew Dicks’s story, The Pole Vaulter, at a Moth StorySLAM. You can watch Matthew telling the story here:

So, it’s the spring of 1986, and Coach Cronin has decided we need two more pole vaulters for our high school track team. We have Jimmy Dean, who’s our one pole vaulter. Jimmy is a senior and he’s a stoner, but he’s the best pole vaulter in all of Massachusetts in 1986. He can vault 17 feet and win every meet, but some meets are called relays, and those meets need to have three competitors. All of those competitors in pole vault need to clear opening height, or nothing counts. The opening height is seven feet, six inches.

So, in every one of those meets throughout Jimmy’s entire career, we’ve never scored any points. Coach Cronin decides he’s going to fix it. He’s going to find two new vaulters, so he takes all the mediocre sprinters and all the mediocre long jumpers, and he brings us all down to the pole vault pit to have a vault off.

Now, pole vaulting is an interesting sport. It requires strength, speed, and precision, but mostly, you just have to be crazy. You take a pole, about 12 feet long, and hold one end of it at the end of a runway. You run as fast as you possibly can for 18 steps. During the last three steps, you raise the pole over your head, jam the other end of the pole into a metal box set into the ground, throw your feet directly into the air, throw your head directly to the ground, and pull back on the pole. Theoretically, it throws you over the bar.

I did not vault that first day. I went left, wrenched my knee, and literally ended up in a gully. But the pole was still in my hand. I had not let it go, and therefore, I became a pole vaulter.

Two of us didn’t let go, and so that day, the pole vaulting team, probably the best name for a team ever, was Jimmy Dean, Jack Daniels, and Matthew Dicks.

Fast forward to the first relay. I’d been practicing for about six weeks with Jack, and I’m occasionally reaching opening height. I know all the pressure is on me. Jack is older than me, and I want to be good, because the real secret to team sports is you want to beat your opponent, but what you really want is your teammates to like you. The only way you can get them to like you is to either perform at a very high level or perform higher than the mediocre people on your team. I cannot perform at a high level, so my goal is to beat Jack and hope that he’s mediocre.

I don’t like Jack to begin with. He’s better-looking than me, he’s faster than me, and his name is Jack Daniels, and my name is Matthew Dicks. People look at me and go, “Oh, Dicks?” And I go, “No, it’s like more than one penis.”

And I’d like to complain about my name, but my father, hand to God, is named Leslie, and he goes by Les. I have two uncles named Harold, and they both go by Harry. So, I don’t complain about my name very often.

However, in pole vaulting, there’s a lot of waiting. You wait to vault, and they need to let you know because, like Jimmy, some people aren’t paying attention. So, the way they let you know is the official will announce, “Smith up, Jones on deck, Peterson in the hole.” For me, I would hear, “Dicks up, Dicks on deck, Dicks in the hole,” and it breaks your concentration when you’re getting ready to vault.

I had a lot going against me that day. So, Dicks was up. He was at the end of the runway, and by some miracle of miracles, I made opening height on my first vault. At that moment, I realized I was going to be Mr. Dependable. I was going to be better than Jack, no matter what.

And when Jack missed his first vault, I can’t tell you how good I felt. Then Jack missed his second vault, and for a moment, I thought the sun had come out and shined upon me. But then I realized that if Jack makes his third vault, he becomes Mr. Clutch. And Mr. Clutch is damn well better than Mr. Dependable.

This son of a [__]! I believed, at that moment, had set it up so that all the drama and all the attention would be on him. On his third and final attempt, he would achieve opening height, stealing my win and not allowing me to be better than New Yorker.

So, Jack ran down that runway, and I begged. I pleaded with all my mental energy. I just hoped that Jack would lose. I didn’t want the pole to break, because then he would have an excuse. I wanted something bad to happen.

And it did. On his way up, Jack’s foot kicked the bar, and he failed. I was happy.

Then something terrible happened. My team won the meet, and they won by like 50 points. Jack missing the pole, missing the bar—it didn’t matter anymore. Nobody cared because we beat the team by 50 points.

What I wanted was for us to lose by one point. I wanted to step onto that bus being the guy who cleared opening height, and everyone’s staring at Jack, knowing that I was better than Jack. But because we had crushed the team so badly, nobody paid any attention to me.

So, I learned three very important lessons that day. Number one: Although the world does revolve around me, not everyone notices. I’m sort of trapped like the sun in this pre-Copernican world where everyone refuses to acknowledge that it revolves around me, and I’m just going to have to accept that.

Number two: I learned that while I’ve got my little mind games going, trying to become better than mediocre, everybody else has a mind game too. Some of them actually have noble mind games, like, “I want to win, I want our team to do well, and I want to support our teammates.” And while they’re doing all that crap, nobody pays attention to the rest of the mind games. So, while you’re thinking that the world is revolving around you, it really is only revolving around me, and everybody else isn’t paying attention.

And the third, and really the most important lesson is: You don’t get attention in life by being the best of the rest. You really need to be the best of the best. And that day, and for many subsequent days, I was not.

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} #mlb2-14362371.ml-form-embedContainer .ml-form-embedWrapper .ml-form-embedBody .ml-form-embedContent ol ol ol, #mlb2-14362371.ml-form-embedContainer .ml-form-embedWrapper .ml-form-successBody .ml-form-successContent ol ol ol { list-style-type: lower-roman; } #mlb2-14362371.ml-form-embedContainer .ml-form-embedWrapper .ml-form-embedBody .ml-form-embedContent p a, #mlb2-14362371.ml-form-embedContainer .ml-form-embedWrapper .ml-form-successBody .ml-form-successContent p a { color: #000000; text-decoration: underline; } #mlb2-14362371.ml-form-embedContainer .ml-form-embedWrapper .ml-block-form .ml-field-group { text-align: left!important; } #mlb2-14362371.ml-form-embedContainer .ml-form-embedWrapper .ml-block-form .ml-field-group label { margin-bottom: 5px; color: #333333; font-size: 14px; font-family: ‘Open Sans’, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-weight: bold; font-style: normal; text-decoration: none;; display: inline-block; line-height: 20px; } #mlb2-14362371.ml-form-embedContainer .ml-form-embedWrapper .ml-form-embedBody .ml-form-embedContent p:last-child, #mlb2-14362371.ml-form-embedContainer .ml-form-embedWrapper .ml-form-successBody .ml-form-successContent p:last-child { margin: 0; } #mlb2-14362371.ml-form-embedContainer .ml-form-embedWrapper .ml-form-embedBody form { margin: 0; width: 100%; } #mlb2-14362371.ml-form-embedContainer .ml-form-embedWrapper .ml-form-embedBody .ml-form-formContent, #mlb2-14362371.ml-form-embedContainer .ml-form-embedWrapper .ml-form-embedBody .ml-form-checkboxRow { margin: 0 0 20px 0; width: 100%; } #mlb2-14362371.ml-form-embedContainer .ml-form-embedWrapper .ml-form-embedBody .ml-form-checkboxRow { float: left; } #mlb2-14362371.ml-form-embedContainer .ml-form-embedWrapper .ml-form-embedBody .ml-form-formContent.horozintalForm { margin: 0; padding: 0 0 20px 0; width: 100%; height: auto; float: left; } #mlb2-14362371.ml-form-embedContainer .ml-form-embedWrapper .ml-form-embedBody .ml-form-fieldRow { margin: 0 0 10px 0; width: 100%; } #mlb2-14362371.ml-form-embedContainer .ml-form-embedWrapper .ml-form-embedBody .ml-form-fieldRow.ml-last-item { margin: 0; } #mlb2-14362371.ml-form-embedContainer .ml-form-embedWrapper .ml-form-embedBody .ml-form-fieldRow.ml-formfieldHorizintal { margin: 0; } #mlb2-14362371.ml-form-embedContainer .ml-form-embedWrapper .ml-form-embedBody .ml-form-fieldRow input { background-color: #ffffff !important; color: #333333 !important; border-color: #cccccc; border-radius: 4px !important; border-style: solid !important; border-width: 1px !important; font-family: ‘Lucida Sans Unicode’, ‘Lucida Grande’, sans-serif; font-size: 14px !important; height: auto; line-height: 21px !important; margin-bottom: 0; margin-top: 0; margin-left: 0; margin-right: 0; padding: 10px 10px !important; width: 100% !important; box-sizing: border-box !important; max-width: 100% !important; } #mlb2-14362371.ml-form-embedContainer .ml-form-embedWrapper .ml-form-embedBody .ml-form-fieldRow input::-webkit-input-placeholder, #mlb2-14362371.ml-form-embedContainer .ml-form-embedWrapper .ml-form-embedBody .ml-form-horizontalRow input::-webkit-input-placeholder { color: #333333; } #mlb2-14362371.ml-form-embedContainer .ml-form-embedWrapper .ml-form-embedBody .ml-form-fieldRow input::-moz-placeholder, #mlb2-14362371.ml-form-embedContainer .ml-form-embedWrapper .ml-form-embedBody .ml-form-horizontalRow input::-moz-placeholder { color: #333333; } #mlb2-14362371.ml-form-embedContainer .ml-form-embedWrapper .ml-form-embedBody .ml-form-fieldRow input:-ms-input-placeholder, #mlb2-14362371.ml-form-embedContainer .ml-form-embedWrapper .ml-form-embedBody .ml-form-horizontalRow input:-ms-input-placeholder { color: #333333; } #mlb2-14362371.ml-form-embedContainer .ml-form-embedWrapper .ml-form-embedBody .ml-form-fieldRow input:-moz-placeholder, #mlb2-14362371.ml-form-embedContainer .ml-form-embedWrapper .ml-form-embedBody .ml-form-horizontalRow input:-moz-placeholder { color: #333333; } #mlb2-14362371.ml-form-embedContainer .ml-form-embedWrapper .ml-form-embedBody .ml-form-fieldRow textarea, #mlb2-14362371.ml-form-embedContainer .ml-form-embedWrapper .ml-form-embedBody .ml-form-horizontalRow textarea { background-color: #ffffff !important; color: #333333 !important; border-color: #cccccc; border-radius: 4px !important; border-style: solid !important; border-width: 1px !important; font-family: ‘Lucida Sans Unicode’, ‘Lucida Grande’, sans-serif; font-size: 14px !important; height: auto; line-height: 21px !important; margin-bottom: 0; margin-top: 0; padding: 10px 10px !important; width: 100% !important; box-sizing: border-box !important; max-width: 100% !important; } #mlb2-14362371.ml-form-embedContainer .ml-form-embedWrapper .ml-form-embedBody .ml-form-fieldRow .custom-radio .custom-control-label::before, #mlb2-14362371.ml-form-embedContainer .ml-form-embedWrapper .ml-form-embedBody .ml-form-horizontalRow .custom-radio .custom-control-label::before, #mlb2-14362371.ml-form-embedContainer .ml-form-embedWrapper .ml-form-embedBody .ml-form-fieldRow .custom-checkbox .custom-control-label::before, #mlb2-14362371.ml-form-embedContainer .ml-form-embedWrapper .ml-form-embedBody .ml-form-horizontalRow .custom-checkbox .custom-control-label::before, #mlb2-14362371.ml-form-embedContainer .ml-form-embedWrapper .ml-form-embedBody .ml-form-embedPermissions .ml-form-embedPermissionsOptionsCheckbox .label-description::before, #mlb2-14362371.ml-form-embedContainer .ml-form-embedWrapper .ml-form-embedBody .ml-form-interestGroupsRow .ml-form-interestGroupsRowCheckbox .label-description::before, #mlb2-14362371.ml-form-embedContainer .ml-form-embedWrapper .ml-form-embedBody .ml-form-checkboxRow .label-description::before { border-color: #cccccc!important; background-color: #ffffff!important; } #mlb2-14362371.ml-form-embedContainer .ml-form-embedWrapper .ml-form-embedBody .ml-form-fieldRow input.custom-control-input[type=”checkbox”]{ box-sizing: border-box; padding: 0; position: absolute; z-index: -1; opacity: 0; margin-top: 5px; margin-left: -1.5rem; overflow: visible; } #mlb2-14362371.ml-form-embedContainer .ml-form-embedWrapper .ml-form-embedBody .ml-form-fieldRow .custom-checkbox .custom-control-label::before, #mlb2-14362371.ml-form-embedContainer .ml-form-embedWrapper .ml-form-embedBody .ml-form-horizontalRow .custom-checkbox .custom-control-label::before, #mlb2-14362371.ml-form-embedContainer .ml-form-embedWrapper .ml-form-embedBody .ml-form-embedPermissions .ml-form-embedPermissionsOptionsCheckbox .label-description::before, #mlb2-14362371.ml-form-embedContainer .ml-form-embedWrapper .ml-form-embedBody .ml-form-interestGroupsRow .ml-form-interestGroupsRowCheckbox .label-description::before, #mlb2-14362371.ml-form-embedContainer .ml-form-embedWrapper .ml-form-embedBody .ml-form-checkboxRow .label-description::before { border-radius: 4px!important; } #mlb2-14362371.ml-form-embedContainer .ml-form-embedWrapper .ml-form-embedBody .ml-form-checkboxRow input[type=checkbox]:checked~.label-description::after, #mlb2-14362371.ml-form-embedContainer .ml-form-embedWrapper .ml-form-embedBody .ml-form-embedPermissions .ml-form-embedPermissionsOptionsCheckbox input[type=checkbox]:checked~.label-description::after, #mlb2-14362371.ml-form-embedContainer .ml-form-embedWrapper .ml-form-embedBody .ml-form-fieldRow .custom-checkbox .custom-control-input:checked~.custom-control-label::after, #mlb2-14362371.ml-form-embedContainer .ml-form-embedWrapper .ml-form-embedBody .ml-form-horizontalRow .custom-checkbox .custom-control-input:checked~.custom-control-label::after, #mlb2-14362371.ml-form-embedContainer .ml-form-embedWrapper .ml-form-embedBody .ml-form-interestGroupsRow .ml-form-interestGroupsRowCheckbox input[type=checkbox]:checked~.label-description::after { background-image: url(“data:image/svg+xml,%3csvg xmlns=’http://www.w3.org/2000/svg’ viewBox=’0 0 8 8’%3e%3cpath fill=’%23fff’ d=’M6.564.75l-3.59 3.612-1.538-1.55L0 4.26 2.974 7.25 8 2.193z’/%3e%3c/svg%3e”); } #mlb2-14362371.ml-form-embedContainer .ml-form-embedWrapper .ml-form-embedBody .ml-form-fieldRow .custom-radio .custom-control-input:checked~.custom-control-label::after, #mlb2-14362371.ml-form-embedContainer .ml-form-embedWrapper .ml-form-embedBody .ml-form-fieldRow .custom-radio .custom-control-input:checked~.custom-control-label::after { background-image: url(“data:image/svg+xml,%3csvg xmlns=’http://www.w3.org/2000/svg’ viewBox=’-4 -4 8 8’%3e%3ccircle r=’3′ fill=’%23fff’/%3e%3c/svg%3e”); } #mlb2-14362371.ml-form-embedContainer .ml-form-embedWrapper .ml-form-embedBody .ml-form-fieldRow .custom-radio .custom-control-input:checked~.custom-control-label::before, #mlb2-14362371.ml-form-embedContainer .ml-form-embedWrapper .ml-form-embedBody .ml-form-horizontalRow .custom-radio .custom-control-input:checked~.custom-control-label::before, #mlb2-14362371.ml-form-embedContainer .ml-form-embedWrapper .ml-form-embedBody .ml-form-fieldRow .custom-checkbox .custom-control-input:checked~.custom-control-label::before, #mlb2-14362371.ml-form-embedContainer .ml-form-embedWrapper .ml-form-embedBody .ml-form-horizontalRow .custom-checkbox .custom-control-input:checked~.custom-control-label::before, #mlb2-14362371.ml-form-embedContainer .ml-form-embedWrapper .ml-form-embedBody .ml-form-embedPermissions .ml-form-embedPermissionsOptionsCheckbox input[type=checkbox]:checked~.label-description::before, #mlb2-14362371.ml-form-embedContainer .ml-form-embedWrapper .ml-form-embedBody .ml-form-interestGroupsRow .ml-form-interestGroupsRowCheckbox input[type=checkbox]:checked~.label-description::before, #mlb2-14362371.ml-form-embedContainer .ml-form-embedWrapper .ml-form-embedBody .ml-form-checkboxRow input[type=checkbox]:checked~.label-description::before { border-color: #000000!important; background-color: #000000!important; } #mlb2-14362371.ml-form-embedContainer .ml-form-embedWrapper .ml-form-embedBody .ml-form-fieldRow .custom-radio .custom-control-label::before, #mlb2-14362371.ml-form-embedContainer .ml-form-embedWrapper .ml-form-embedBody .ml-form-horizontalRow .custom-radio .custom-control-label::before, #mlb2-14362371.ml-form-embedContainer .ml-form-embedWrapper .ml-form-embedBody .ml-form-fieldRow .custom-radio .custom-control-label::after, #mlb2-14362371.ml-form-embedContainer .ml-form-embedWrapper .ml-form-embedBody .ml-form-horizontalRow .custom-radio .custom-control-label::after, #mlb2-14362371.ml-form-embedContainer .ml-form-embedWrapper .ml-form-embedBody .ml-form-fieldRow .custom-checkbox .custom-control-label::before, #mlb2-14362371.ml-form-embedContainer .ml-form-embedWrapper .ml-form-embedBody .ml-form-fieldRow .custom-checkbox .custom-control-label::after, #mlb2-14362371.ml-form-embedContainer .ml-form-embedWrapper .ml-form-embedBody .ml-form-horizontalRow .custom-checkbox .custom-control-label::before, #mlb2-14362371.ml-form-embedContainer .ml-form-embedWrapper .ml-form-embedBody .ml-form-horizontalRow .custom-checkbox .custom-control-label::after { top: 2px; box-sizing: border-box; } #mlb2-14362371.ml-form-embedContainer .ml-form-embedWrapper .ml-form-embedBody .ml-form-embedPermissions .ml-form-embedPermissionsOptionsCheckbox .label-description::before, #mlb2-14362371.ml-form-embedContainer .ml-form-embedWrapper .ml-form-embedBody .ml-form-embedPermissions .ml-form-embedPermissionsOptionsCheckbox .label-description::after, #mlb2-14362371.ml-form-embedContainer .ml-form-embedWrapper .ml-form-embedBody .ml-form-checkboxRow .label-description::before, #mlb2-14362371.ml-form-embedContainer .ml-form-embedWrapper .ml-form-embedBody .ml-form-checkboxRow .label-description::after { top: 0px!important; box-sizing: border-box!important; } #mlb2-14362371.ml-form-embedContainer .ml-form-embedWrapper .ml-form-embedBody .ml-form-checkboxRow .label-description::before, #mlb2-14362371.ml-form-embedContainer .ml-form-embedWrapper .ml-form-embedBody .ml-form-checkboxRow .label-description::after { top: 0px!important; box-sizing: border-box!important; } #mlb2-14362371.ml-form-embedContainer .ml-form-embedWrapper .ml-form-embedBody .ml-form-interestGroupsRow .ml-form-interestGroupsRowCheckbox .label-description::after { top: 0px!important; box-sizing: border-box!important; position: absolute; left: -1.5rem; display: block; width: 1rem; height: 1rem; content: “”; } #mlb2-14362371.ml-form-embedContainer .ml-form-embedWrapper .ml-form-embedBody .ml-form-interestGroupsRow .ml-form-interestGroupsRowCheckbox .label-description::before { top: 0px!important; box-sizing: border-box!important; } #mlb2-14362371.ml-form-embedContainer .ml-form-embedWrapper .ml-form-embedBody .custom-control-label::before { position: absolute; top: 4px; left: -1.5rem; display: block; width: 16px; height: 16px; pointer-events: none; content: “”; background-color: #ffffff; border: #adb5bd solid 1px; border-radius: 50%; } #mlb2-14362371.ml-form-embedContainer .ml-form-embedWrapper .ml-form-embedBody .custom-control-label::after { position: absolute; top: 2px!important; left: -1.5rem; display: block; width: 1rem; height: 1rem; content: “”; } #mlb2-14362371.ml-form-embedContainer .ml-form-embedWrapper .ml-form-embedBody .ml-form-embedPermissions .ml-form-embedPermissionsOptionsCheckbox .label-description::before, #mlb2-14362371.ml-form-embedContainer .ml-form-embedWrapper .ml-form-embedBody .ml-form-interestGroupsRow .ml-form-interestGroupsRowCheckbox .label-description::before, #mlb2-14362371.ml-form-embedContainer .ml-form-embedWrapper .ml-form-embedBody .ml-form-checkboxRow .label-description::before { position: absolute; top: 4px; left: -1.5rem; display: block; width: 16px; height: 16px; pointer-events: none; content: “”; background-color: #ffffff; border: #adb5bd solid 1px; border-radius: 50%; } #mlb2-14362371.ml-form-embedContainer .ml-form-embedWrapper .ml-form-embedBody .ml-form-embedPermissions .ml-form-embedPermissionsOptionsCheckbox .label-description::after { position: absolute; top: 0px!important; left: -1.5rem; display: block; width: 1rem; height: 1rem; content: “”; } #mlb2-14362371.ml-form-embedContainer .ml-form-embedWrapper .ml-form-embedBody .ml-form-checkboxRow .label-description::after { position: absolute; top: 0px!important; left: -1.5rem; display: block; width: 1rem; height: 1rem; content: “”; } #mlb2-14362371.ml-form-embedContainer .ml-form-embedWrapper .ml-form-embedBody .custom-radio .custom-control-label::after { background: no-repeat 50%/50% 50%; } #mlb2-14362371.ml-form-embedContainer .ml-form-embedWrapper .ml-form-embedBody .custom-checkbox .custom-control-label::after, #mlb2-14362371.ml-form-embedContainer .ml-form-embedWrapper .ml-form-embedBody .ml-form-embedPermissions .ml-form-embedPermissionsOptionsCheckbox .label-description::after, #mlb2-14362371.ml-form-embedContainer .ml-form-embedWrapper .ml-form-embedBody .ml-form-interestGroupsRow .ml-form-interestGroupsRowCheckbox .label-description::after, #mlb2-14362371.ml-form-embedContainer .ml-form-embedWrapper .ml-form-embedBody .ml-form-checkboxRow .label-description::after { background: no-repeat 50%/50% 50%; } #mlb2-14362371.ml-form-embedContainer .ml-form-embedWrapper .ml-form-embedBody .ml-form-fieldRow .custom-control, #mlb2-14362371.ml-form-embedContainer .ml-form-embedWrapper .ml-form-embedBody .ml-form-horizontalRow .custom-control { position: relative; display: block; min-height: 1.5rem; padding-left: 1.5rem; } #mlb2-14362371.ml-form-embedContainer .ml-form-embedWrapper .ml-form-embedBody .ml-form-fieldRow .custom-radio .custom-control-input, #mlb2-14362371.ml-form-embedContainer .ml-form-embedWrapper .ml-form-embedBody .ml-form-horizontalRow .custom-radio .custom-control-input, #mlb2-14362371.ml-form-embedContainer .ml-form-embedWrapper .ml-form-embedBody .ml-form-fieldRow .custom-checkbox .custom-control-input, #mlb2-14362371.ml-form-embedContainer .ml-form-embedWrapper .ml-form-embedBody .ml-form-horizontalRow .custom-checkbox .custom-control-input { position: absolute; z-index: -1; opacity: 0; box-sizing: border-box; padding: 0; } #mlb2-14362371.ml-form-embedContainer .ml-form-embedWrapper .ml-form-embedBody .ml-form-fieldRow .custom-radio .custom-control-label, #mlb2-14362371.ml-form-embedContainer .ml-form-embedWrapper .ml-form-embedBody .ml-form-horizontalRow .custom-radio .custom-control-label, #mlb2-14362371.ml-form-embedContainer .ml-form-embedWrapper .ml-form-embedBody .ml-form-fieldRow .custom-checkbox .custom-control-label, #mlb2-14362371.ml-form-embedContainer .ml-form-embedWrapper .ml-form-embedBody .ml-form-horizontalRow .custom-checkbox .custom-control-label { color: #000000; font-size: 12px!important; font-family: ‘Open Sans’, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; line-height: 22px; margin-bottom: 0; position: relative; vertical-align: top; font-style: normal; font-weight: 700; } #mlb2-14362371.ml-form-embedContainer .ml-form-embedWrapper .ml-form-embedBody .ml-form-fieldRow .custom-select, #mlb2-14362371.ml-form-embedContainer .ml-form-embedWrapper .ml-form-embedBody .ml-form-horizontalRow .custom-select { background-color: #ffffff !important; color: #333333 !important; border-color: #cccccc; border-radius: 4px !important; border-style: solid !important; border-width: 1px !important; font-family: ‘Lucida Sans Unicode’, ‘Lucida Grande’, sans-serif; font-size: 14px !important; line-height: 20px !important; margin-bottom: 0; margin-top: 0; padding: 10px 28px 10px 12px !important; width: 100% !important; box-sizing: border-box !important; max-width: 100% !important; height: auto; display: inline-block; vertical-align: middle; background: url(‘https://assets.mlcdn.com/ml/images/default/dropdown.svg’) no-repeat right .75rem center/8px 10px; -webkit-appearance: none; -moz-appearance: none; appearance: none; } #mlb2-14362371.ml-form-embedContainer .ml-form-embedWrapper .ml-form-embedBody .ml-form-horizontalRow { height: auto; width: 100%; float: left; } .ml-form-formContent.horozintalForm .ml-form-horizontalRow .ml-input-horizontal { width: 70%; float: left; } .ml-form-formContent.horozintalForm .ml-form-horizontalRow .ml-button-horizontal { width: 30%; float: left; } .ml-form-formContent.horozintalForm .ml-form-horizontalRow .ml-button-horizontal.labelsOn { padding-top: 25px; } .ml-form-formContent.horozintalForm .ml-form-horizontalRow .horizontal-fields { box-sizing: border-box; float: left; padding-right: 10px; } #mlb2-14362371.ml-form-embedContainer .ml-form-embedWrapper .ml-form-embedBody .ml-form-horizontalRow input { background-color: #ffffff; color: #333333; border-color: #cccccc; border-radius: 4px; border-style: solid; border-width: 1px; font-family: ‘Lucida Sans Unicode’, ‘Lucida Grande’, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; 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Disclaimer: this transcript is a product of Youtube-auto-generated transcript and simple ChatGPT cleaning, and I do not own any intellectual property in any shape or form mentioned. The content on this blog is for informational purposes only and should not be considered professional advice. While every effort is made to provide accurate and up-to-date information, I make no guarantees about the completeness, accuracy, or reliability of any content. Any actions taken based on the information provided here are done solely at your own risk. I am not liable for any losses, damages, or consequences arising from your use of this blog or its content. Please consult with a qualified professional before making any significant decisions.

This is a transcript of Matthew Dicks’s story, Strip Club of My Own Making, at a Moth GrandSLAM. You can watch Matthew telling the story here:

It’s 1991. I’m 20 years old, and I’m working at a McDonald’s in Milford, Massachusetts. I’m flipping burgers, and my boss, Pam, comes, takes me by the arm, and pulls me into the walk-in cooler. She says she has to ask me a question.

Now, Pam is a 40-something mother of three who desperately wants to be 20 again. She’s the woman who buys us beer but brings the kegs to the party in hopes that we will allow her to stay at the party and party with us.

So, Pam looks at me and says, “Lisa is getting married.” Lisa’s a woman we work with, and Pam says, “I want to have a bachelorette party here in McDonald’s for her.” I nod, because I don’t actually know what a bachelorette party is, so it sounds fine. But I don’t know what she’s about to ask me.

She puts her hand on my shoulder and says, “We want you to be the stripper for the bachelorette party.” Now, I say yes for two reasons. First, I’m 20, so I can only see five minutes in front of me. I don’t really know what this means. But I’m also the guy who doesn’t get girls because of the way I look. I have no game. The only move I have is proximity. I find a girl I like, and I stand next to them for as long as possible, trying to wear them down. I’m like the romance version of erosion.

And it’s worked. I’ve had girlfriends, but for the first time in my life, someone wants to see what’s under my clothes. And yes, she’s older than my mother, and yes, she’s my boss, but it’s a start. So, I’m excited.

But I ask Pam, “I don’t want to be totally naked.” She says, “We do not want you to be totally naked either. We’ll get you a thong.” I say, “Great.”

The night of the bachelorette party comes, and I show up in my uniform because that’s what she told me to wear. As I’m going into the store, I’m still excited. Again, I can only see five minutes in front of me, and I’m excited about this opportunity. I feel that way until I walk into the store and see that all the guys are working that night because the girls are in the back getting ready.

As I walk in, the guys look at me, and they have a look that I can’t quite figure out, but it is universal, and it is disconcerting. I start to think that maybe I’ve made a mistake.

I meet Pam in the back hallway where we stack the buns—the Big Mac buns and the hamburger buns—and she hands me an orange thong. She tells me to put it on and then knock on the crew room door when I’m ready.

Now, I don’t know if you know what a thong for a man looks like, but it’s essentially a plastic sandwich bag with two strings attached. As I’m putting it on, I am NOT attempting to be grandiose about my situation in any way. But Pam has not sized the thong properly. It’s like the Happy Meal version of a thong. So, as I’m putting it on, if you’ve ever tried to put something in a container and while you’re putting it in, the other side is popping out—that is the situation I’m experiencing while trying to get this thong on.

Now, I’m really feeling like I’ve made a terrible mistake. But I manage to get it on, put my pants on, and knock on the crew room door. Pam swings it open, presses play on a boom box, and Madonna’s “Lucky Star” begins to play. I think, “Good, silence is not good—music is better.”

But when I step into the crew room, I know now that this is a terrible thing. The crew room is tiny—it’s like 10 by 10—and it has a McDonald’s booth with four girls sitting in it. Then, there’s Lisa. Lisa hears the music and sees me walk in, and she realizes what’s about to happen. A look of horror falls on her, and then I have that same look because sitting next to Lisa is Alice, a 67-year-old manager who’s been like my grandmother for the last two years. She is bopping to “Lucky Star” and leaning forward. Then, there are two women on the floor sitting there because there’s no room, so they’re right here.

And now, I have to take my clothes off. So, I start with my shoes and quickly realize you cannot remove shoes in any sexy way. I’ve opted for business casual, so there are laces and black socks that come up to the knees. It’s not a pretty sight. When I take them off, I don’t know what to do with them. In a club, I might throw them, but if I threw them here, they would just clock the girl right here. So, I put them in a little neat pile by the door, ball up my socks, and put them in.

Then, I take my shirt off, but I forget that the sleeves have buttons. So, I’m in this reverse position and can’t get it off. I have to put the shirt back on to unbutton the sleeves so I can get it off. Then it’s time to take off my pants. That’s going to be the easiest—just undo the belt, and they will fall. But it’s the hardest thing. I wait for a minute, praying that the world will end, that some apocalypse will wipe us all out, and I won’t have to go forward. But that doesn’t happen. The world spins on, and so I drop my pants. I realize right away that this thong is fine because when my pants fall, everything in my body sucks in, and there’s room for like three of me in this thong now.

And “Lucky Star” is still playing, and Pam is hooting and Alice is bopping. I realize I have to dance. I just kind of do this, and I make eye contact because I feel that’s appropriate—that I’m supposed to be doing that. For a moment, I’m so happy that I’m me and not them because they have to look at this, and I only have to look at them. Then, the song ends, and I have all my clothes neatly piled in the corner. I collect them, retreat back to the hallway, get dressed again, and I’m thinking in my head, “That probably wasn’t a good thing that just happened.”

As I’m leaving, I pass by Brian, who’s at the fryer, and he’s shaking his head. I’m like, “What?” And he says, “I can’t believe you did that. When they asked me, I said no way.” And I realize that wasn’t the first choice. Later on, I find out that I’m not the second, third, or fourth choice either.

It’s really dumb to be upset that you were not the first chosen for a striptease in a McDonald’s crew room for a bachelorette party for women 20 years older than you and more. But, like, it hurt. There’s a time when you just want to be the person who people look at and think you’re the good-looking one, or you’re a good-looking one. And that’s what I wanted that night, and I didn’t get it.

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Disclaimer: this transcript is a product of Youtube-auto-generated transcript and simple ChatGPT cleaning, and I do not own any intellectual property in any shape or form mentioned. The content on this blog is for informational purposes only and should not be considered professional advice. While every effort is made to provide accurate and up-to-date information, I make no guarantees about the completeness, accuracy, or reliability of any content. Any actions taken based on the information provided here are done solely at your own risk. I am not liable for any losses, damages, or consequences arising from your use of this blog or its content. Please consult with a qualified professional before making any significant decisions.

This is a transcript of Matthew Dicks’s story, Matty the Dog, at a Moth StorySLAM. You can watch Matthew telling the story here:

It’s the spring of 2003. I’m 32 years old, sitting in my crummy apartment at a crummy kitchen table, pouring water on a bowl of raisin bran because I am too stupid and too sad to go out and get milk. I am living on my own for the first time ever, and I have discovered that when men live on their own, they become savages. There are nights when I just forget to go to sleep. I find myself walking through my apartment in underwear and one sock, and I can’t quite figure out how it happened. I haven’t changed my sheets in the three months I’ve been here, and I don’t see it ever changing in the foreseeable future.

I hate my apartment. It is small and cruddy. There’s an Indian family that lives below me, and they’re lovely people, but everything they cook is cooked with curry. Our air conditioner has stacked one on top of the other, so as the curry blows out of one apartment, it comes into mine. I hate curry, so everything I own smells like it—my clothes, my bed, and my dog. Less than a mile away, my wife is in our kitchen, probably the kitchen I spent three days painting last summer. She’s sitting at the kitchen table that we bought a week after we bought the house, or she’s sitting on the deck enjoying dinner—it’s the deck that I put in two years ago, which really means I paid someone to put it in, but then I tell people I did it myself, so you think maybe I was the one who did the work. But I still made it happen.

And I’m not there because we’re separated. About a year ago, she told me that she needed space, and I didn’t really know what that meant, so I started sitting on the other side of the couch, and that wasn’t good enough for her. Six months ago, she told me she was getting bored in the marriage, and I didn’t know why because I am NOT boring. I’m slightly pedantic, a little organized, and slightly OCD, but I am NOT boring. I’m a wedding DJ, and my partner Benji and I met a client that we had done a wedding for a year ago. When we came up to them, I said, “How’s it going?” and they said, “We bought a dog and named it after you because you’re the funniest person we know.” Mind you, my DJ’s partner’s name is Benji. They did not name the dog after him—no, they named it after me. So, I am not boring.

But now we’re separated, and I know it’s not really separated. It’s like when you’re a kid and you discover Santa isn’t real, but you pretend for one more year—for the parents’ sake or maybe to get a couple of extra presents. That’s what we’re doing. We’re separated, but I know what’s coming, and I hate it. My parents got divorced when I was a kid, and it destroyed my childhood. I swore when I was a kid that I was never going to let this happen to me—that I was going to marry the right person and work hard at the marriage, and it would work. But now I am in this cruddy apartment, all by myself, and I see divorce coming. I’ve never been depressed in my life, but for the first time, I can feel the shadows of depression closing in as I see nothing in my future.

I go to Vermont for a weekend to DJ a wedding, and when I come back, there are two moving vans right next to my house. As I get closer, I realize the Indian family is moving out. I see the husband and wife trying to get a couch out. I’ve got new neighbors, and they’re lovely people, but I see the curry is going away, and it’s the first good thing I’ve had in a long time.

Then I see the people moving in. Their truck is right there. As I get close, I realize I know the woman who’s standing by that truck. Who is she? And when she sees me coming, she smiles like she knows exactly who I am. I’m thinking, “Crap, who is this woman?” Then I realize who it is. It’s the woman who named her dog after me. I see the dog come out from around the truck as she calls my name. It’s the dog named after me, and it’s going to be living below me. This is amazing.

Then I see her husband coming, and I look at him and think, “Wait, that’s not her husband, but I know that dude.” How do I know him? They’re both coming towards me, and they say, “Hi,” and I’m trying to figure out who he is. Then I realize who he is. He’s the best man from the wedding. I look for the husband, thinking maybe he’s helping out. As she sees me looking around, she says, “Yeah, I can’t believe it.”

So we look at each other for a minute without saying anything, and then I say, “I live upstairs. I’m going to live above the dog that’s named after me. If you need any help, call me.” Then I go up the stairs to my cruddy apartment and sit down at my cruddy kitchen table. I pour water on the raisin bran and sit there.

I think, “There’s a person in the world right now, maybe sitting in his kitchen, who has lost the wife I know he loved, lost his best friend, and lost his dog. And I am sitting in my cruddy kitchen, but I’ve got my dog. And I’m losing a wife, but if I’m honest with myself, I’m probably losing a wife I didn’t love enough to begin with.” So I think about that guy somewhere in the world who has lost so much, and I realize how much I still have and how things might turn out okay after all.

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Disclaimer: this transcript is a product of Youtube-auto-generated transcript and simple ChatGPT cleaning, and I do not own any intellectual property in any shape or form mentioned. The content on this blog is for informational purposes only and should not be considered professional advice. While every effort is made to provide accurate and up-to-date information, I make no guarantees about the completeness, accuracy, or reliability of any content. Any actions taken based on the information provided here are done solely at your own risk. I am not liable for any losses, damages, or consequences arising from your use of this blog or its content. Please consult with a qualified professional before making any significant decisions.

This is a transcript of Matthew Dicks’s story, Two Little Jewish Dicks, at a NYC Moth GrandSLAM. You can watch Matthew telling the story here:

It’s well after midnight. I’m lying on my bed in a dark room. I’m on the phone, speaking to Alicia. It’s one of those endless phone calls you have when you’re not quite dating yet, and you can’t stand to be apart, but you’re not exactly together yet.

I’ve known Alicia for two years. We’re both schoolteachers. Our classrooms are worlds apart. When we met, I was married, and Alicia was engaged to be married. We’ve shed those former lives, and over the course of two years, we became friends, then close friends, and now we’re falling in love.

Two nights before, during one of these endless phone calls, Alicia told me that if we start dating, we’re never going to break up. We’re going to get married, and we’re going to live together forever. In basketball terms, this is known as going strong to the hoop. In dating terms, this is insanity. This is like the worst thing you can do to get a guy like me. You say words like this to me, and I run as fast as I can. But I’m in love with this girl, so when she says these words, I just want to run to her as fast as I can.

It’s getting late, and I know we have to end this phone call. We both have to be at work the next morning. When Alicia says to me, “Listen, I have a question to ask you,” I know by the tone in her voice that it’s going to be important. She says, “When we have kids someday, is it okay that they’re Jewish? That we raise them Jewish?”

Now, Alicia’s Jewish, and I am a failed Christian who believes in nothing. So, I have no religion to bring to the table at this point. So, you know, it doesn’t matter to me. Honestly, if she told me to quit my job tomorrow and deal heroin on the side of the street next to the elementary school, I would say yes. I love this girl so much.

So I say yes to her, but in my heart, I am thinking no. I don’t want my kids to be Jewish. If this is a choice—and it sounds like it is—why would we want to do that? Why would we want to subject our children to a lifetime of anti-Semitism and discrimination if we don’t have to? Why do we want to permanently place them in a minority? Why do we want to saddle them with joyless holidays with no flying reindeer and no discernible decorations of any kind? And why do we want to attach them to a country that is surrounded by people who want to destroy them? No, I don’t want my kids to be Jewish if I have a choice.

But the kids we’re talking about are theoretical, and the love I have already is real. So, I say yes.

Three days later, Alicia’s getting into her car in the parking lot when she reaches out, grabs me by the coat, pulls me to her face, and kisses me for the first time. And we are off.

Two months later, we’re living together. In December of that year, on the top of the steps in Grand Central Station, her favorite space in the world, I drop to one knee and ask her to marry me. She doesn’t say yes; she just cries. And it is a fairy tale. It is perfect and smooth and wonderful.

The only sticking point, the only struggle we have, is with Alicia’s last name. She wants to hyphenate, but her last name is Green, and my last name is Dix. Green Dix does not work. She could just keep her name Green, but she wants us to have the same name. So she decides to take Dix.

I know it’s a hard decision. It’s not an easy name to live with. It’s not as hard as Harold, who goes by Harry Dix. It’s not as hard as my grandmother, who named those two poor boys, Early Dix. But Matthew Dix was hard, you know?

But I also know that my name taught me where to punch someone in the face to hurt them the most and when to run from a fight. It taught me to make fun of myself before someone else could. I got my sense of humor that way. And when my life was at its worst—when I was homeless, when I was in jail, when I was without hope of any kind—I know that name helped give me the strength to keep going on.

So she takes my name. As hard as I know it’s going to be.

Three years later, that theoretical child is born. Her name is Clara. A little while later, Charlie comes, and they both take my name. They have no choice, so they become Dix.

One day, we’re in the car, driving through the Berkshires, going to see Alicia’s in-laws. The kids are in the back asleep. Clara’s facing forward, and Charlie’s facing back. The car is quiet. We’re listening to Simon and Garfunkel when, out of the blue, Clara says to me, “I wish I hadn’t taken your last name. I wish I was still Green.”

I ask her why, and she tells me she’s worried about the kids. She’s worried that they’re going to be bullied and teased. It’s the hardest thing she has ever said to me, and I’m not really sure why it hurts me so much. Because if she had kept her name Green when we got married, I wouldn’t have cared. But she’s taken my name, and it means something to me today.

It is something I’m proud of. It’s something I’ve made into something good in my mind. It is on college diplomas that I never thought I would earn. It is on the cover of books I never thought I would publish. And it is the thing that I share with her and my kids.

I know it’s not easy, but it is the struggle that has made me who I am today. And in that instant, suddenly everything changes. My heart fills with joy because I am right back on that phone call when she asks me to raise the kids Jewish. My heart is screaming no, and suddenly my heart is screaming yes.

I now understand that the Judaism my kids have is going to be the same thing as my last name. It’s going to be a struggle, but that struggle is a good thing. I think about her, my family, and my Jewish friends. I think about how strong they are and how they are unstoppable people because of the struggle they’ve had and the things they’ve had to face—unbearable holidays with bitter herbs, the ten plagues. They are incredible people because of what they’ve endured.

I look in the rearview mirror on this little street in the Berkshires and I see these two kids behind me. And for the first time in my life, I am ecstatic that they are Jewish. They’re going to have this struggle, but they’re going to come out in the end stronger than we can imagine—stronger than me and Alicia will ever be.

They are our kids. They are two little Jewish Dixs, and they are going to conquer the world.

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} #mlb2-14362371.ml-form-embedContainer .ml-form-embedWrapper .ml-form-embedBody .ml-form-fieldRow input { background-color: #ffffff !important; color: #333333 !important; border-color: #cccccc; border-radius: 4px !important; border-style: solid !important; border-width: 1px !important; font-family: ‘Lucida Sans Unicode’, ‘Lucida Grande’, sans-serif; font-size: 14px !important; height: auto; line-height: 21px !important; margin-bottom: 0; margin-top: 0; margin-left: 0; margin-right: 0; padding: 10px 10px !important; width: 100% !important; box-sizing: border-box !important; max-width: 100% !important; } #mlb2-14362371.ml-form-embedContainer .ml-form-embedWrapper .ml-form-embedBody .ml-form-fieldRow input::-webkit-input-placeholder, #mlb2-14362371.ml-form-embedContainer .ml-form-embedWrapper .ml-form-embedBody .ml-form-horizontalRow input::-webkit-input-placeholder { color: #333333; } #mlb2-14362371.ml-form-embedContainer .ml-form-embedWrapper .ml-form-embedBody .ml-form-fieldRow input::-moz-placeholder, #mlb2-14362371.ml-form-embedContainer .ml-form-embedWrapper .ml-form-embedBody .ml-form-horizontalRow input::-moz-placeholder { color: #333333; } #mlb2-14362371.ml-form-embedContainer .ml-form-embedWrapper .ml-form-embedBody .ml-form-fieldRow input:-ms-input-placeholder, #mlb2-14362371.ml-form-embedContainer .ml-form-embedWrapper .ml-form-embedBody .ml-form-horizontalRow input:-ms-input-placeholder { color: #333333; } #mlb2-14362371.ml-form-embedContainer .ml-form-embedWrapper .ml-form-embedBody .ml-form-fieldRow input:-moz-placeholder, #mlb2-14362371.ml-form-embedContainer .ml-form-embedWrapper .ml-form-embedBody .ml-form-horizontalRow input:-moz-placeholder { color: #333333; } #mlb2-14362371.ml-form-embedContainer .ml-form-embedWrapper .ml-form-embedBody .ml-form-fieldRow textarea, #mlb2-14362371.ml-form-embedContainer .ml-form-embedWrapper .ml-form-embedBody .ml-form-horizontalRow textarea { background-color: #ffffff !important; color: #333333 !important; border-color: #cccccc; border-radius: 4px !important; border-style: solid !important; border-width: 1px !important; font-family: ‘Lucida Sans Unicode’, ‘Lucida Grande’, sans-serif; font-size: 14px !important; height: auto; line-height: 21px !important; margin-bottom: 0; margin-top: 0; padding: 10px 10px !important; width: 100% !important; box-sizing: border-box !important; max-width: 100% !important; } #mlb2-14362371.ml-form-embedContainer .ml-form-embedWrapper .ml-form-embedBody .ml-form-fieldRow .custom-radio .custom-control-label::before, #mlb2-14362371.ml-form-embedContainer .ml-form-embedWrapper .ml-form-embedBody .ml-form-horizontalRow .custom-radio .custom-control-label::before, #mlb2-14362371.ml-form-embedContainer .ml-form-embedWrapper .ml-form-embedBody .ml-form-fieldRow .custom-checkbox .custom-control-label::before, #mlb2-14362371.ml-form-embedContainer .ml-form-embedWrapper .ml-form-embedBody .ml-form-horizontalRow .custom-checkbox .custom-control-label::before, #mlb2-14362371.ml-form-embedContainer .ml-form-embedWrapper .ml-form-embedBody .ml-form-embedPermissions .ml-form-embedPermissionsOptionsCheckbox .label-description::before, #mlb2-14362371.ml-form-embedContainer .ml-form-embedWrapper .ml-form-embedBody .ml-form-interestGroupsRow .ml-form-interestGroupsRowCheckbox .label-description::before, #mlb2-14362371.ml-form-embedContainer .ml-form-embedWrapper .ml-form-embedBody .ml-form-checkboxRow .label-description::before { border-color: #cccccc!important; background-color: #ffffff!important; } #mlb2-14362371.ml-form-embedContainer .ml-form-embedWrapper .ml-form-embedBody .ml-form-fieldRow input.custom-control-input[type=”checkbox”]{ box-sizing: border-box; padding: 0; position: absolute; z-index: -1; opacity: 0; margin-top: 5px; margin-left: -1.5rem; overflow: visible; } #mlb2-14362371.ml-form-embedContainer .ml-form-embedWrapper .ml-form-embedBody .ml-form-fieldRow .custom-checkbox .custom-control-label::before, #mlb2-14362371.ml-form-embedContainer .ml-form-embedWrapper .ml-form-embedBody .ml-form-horizontalRow .custom-checkbox .custom-control-label::before, #mlb2-14362371.ml-form-embedContainer .ml-form-embedWrapper .ml-form-embedBody .ml-form-embedPermissions .ml-form-embedPermissionsOptionsCheckbox .label-description::before, #mlb2-14362371.ml-form-embedContainer .ml-form-embedWrapper .ml-form-embedBody .ml-form-interestGroupsRow .ml-form-interestGroupsRowCheckbox .label-description::before, #mlb2-14362371.ml-form-embedContainer .ml-form-embedWrapper .ml-form-embedBody .ml-form-checkboxRow .label-description::before { border-radius: 4px!important; } #mlb2-14362371.ml-form-embedContainer .ml-form-embedWrapper .ml-form-embedBody .ml-form-checkboxRow input[type=checkbox]:checked~.label-description::after, #mlb2-14362371.ml-form-embedContainer .ml-form-embedWrapper .ml-form-embedBody .ml-form-embedPermissions .ml-form-embedPermissionsOptionsCheckbox input[type=checkbox]:checked~.label-description::after, #mlb2-14362371.ml-form-embedContainer .ml-form-embedWrapper .ml-form-embedBody .ml-form-fieldRow .custom-checkbox .custom-control-input:checked~.custom-control-label::after, #mlb2-14362371.ml-form-embedContainer .ml-form-embedWrapper .ml-form-embedBody .ml-form-horizontalRow .custom-checkbox .custom-control-input:checked~.custom-control-label::after, #mlb2-14362371.ml-form-embedContainer .ml-form-embedWrapper .ml-form-embedBody .ml-form-interestGroupsRow .ml-form-interestGroupsRowCheckbox input[type=checkbox]:checked~.label-description::after { background-image: url(“data:image/svg+xml,%3csvg xmlns=’http://www.w3.org/2000/svg’ viewBox=’0 0 8 8’%3e%3cpath fill=’%23fff’ d=’M6.564.75l-3.59 3.612-1.538-1.55L0 4.26 2.974 7.25 8 2.193z’/%3e%3c/svg%3e”); } #mlb2-14362371.ml-form-embedContainer .ml-form-embedWrapper .ml-form-embedBody .ml-form-fieldRow .custom-radio .custom-control-input:checked~.custom-control-label::after, #mlb2-14362371.ml-form-embedContainer .ml-form-embedWrapper .ml-form-embedBody .ml-form-fieldRow .custom-radio .custom-control-input:checked~.custom-control-label::after { background-image: url(“data:image/svg+xml,%3csvg xmlns=’http://www.w3.org/2000/svg’ viewBox=’-4 -4 8 8’%3e%3ccircle r=’3′ fill=’%23fff’/%3e%3c/svg%3e”); } #mlb2-14362371.ml-form-embedContainer .ml-form-embedWrapper .ml-form-embedBody .ml-form-fieldRow .custom-radio .custom-control-input:checked~.custom-control-label::before, #mlb2-14362371.ml-form-embedContainer .ml-form-embedWrapper .ml-form-embedBody .ml-form-horizontalRow .custom-radio .custom-control-input:checked~.custom-control-label::before, #mlb2-14362371.ml-form-embedContainer .ml-form-embedWrapper .ml-form-embedBody .ml-form-fieldRow .custom-checkbox .custom-control-input:checked~.custom-control-label::before, #mlb2-14362371.ml-form-embedContainer .ml-form-embedWrapper .ml-form-embedBody .ml-form-horizontalRow .custom-checkbox .custom-control-input:checked~.custom-control-label::before, #mlb2-14362371.ml-form-embedContainer .ml-form-embedWrapper .ml-form-embedBody .ml-form-embedPermissions .ml-form-embedPermissionsOptionsCheckbox input[type=checkbox]:checked~.label-description::before, #mlb2-14362371.ml-form-embedContainer .ml-form-embedWrapper .ml-form-embedBody .ml-form-interestGroupsRow .ml-form-interestGroupsRowCheckbox input[type=checkbox]:checked~.label-description::before, #mlb2-14362371.ml-form-embedContainer .ml-form-embedWrapper .ml-form-embedBody .ml-form-checkboxRow input[type=checkbox]:checked~.label-description::before { border-color: #000000!important; background-color: #000000!important; } #mlb2-14362371.ml-form-embedContainer .ml-form-embedWrapper .ml-form-embedBody .ml-form-fieldRow .custom-radio .custom-control-label::before, #mlb2-14362371.ml-form-embedContainer .ml-form-embedWrapper .ml-form-embedBody .ml-form-horizontalRow .custom-radio .custom-control-label::before, #mlb2-14362371.ml-form-embedContainer .ml-form-embedWrapper .ml-form-embedBody .ml-form-fieldRow .custom-radio .custom-control-label::after, #mlb2-14362371.ml-form-embedContainer .ml-form-embedWrapper .ml-form-embedBody .ml-form-horizontalRow .custom-radio .custom-control-label::after, #mlb2-14362371.ml-form-embedContainer .ml-form-embedWrapper .ml-form-embedBody .ml-form-fieldRow .custom-checkbox .custom-control-label::before, #mlb2-14362371.ml-form-embedContainer .ml-form-embedWrapper .ml-form-embedBody .ml-form-fieldRow .custom-checkbox .custom-control-label::after, #mlb2-14362371.ml-form-embedContainer .ml-form-embedWrapper .ml-form-embedBody .ml-form-horizontalRow .custom-checkbox .custom-control-label::before, #mlb2-14362371.ml-form-embedContainer .ml-form-embedWrapper .ml-form-embedBody .ml-form-horizontalRow .custom-checkbox .custom-control-label::after { top: 2px; box-sizing: border-box; } #mlb2-14362371.ml-form-embedContainer .ml-form-embedWrapper .ml-form-embedBody .ml-form-embedPermissions .ml-form-embedPermissionsOptionsCheckbox .label-description::before, #mlb2-14362371.ml-form-embedContainer .ml-form-embedWrapper .ml-form-embedBody .ml-form-embedPermissions .ml-form-embedPermissionsOptionsCheckbox .label-description::after, #mlb2-14362371.ml-form-embedContainer .ml-form-embedWrapper .ml-form-embedBody .ml-form-checkboxRow .label-description::before, #mlb2-14362371.ml-form-embedContainer .ml-form-embedWrapper .ml-form-embedBody .ml-form-checkboxRow .label-description::after { top: 0px!important; box-sizing: border-box!important; } #mlb2-14362371.ml-form-embedContainer .ml-form-embedWrapper .ml-form-embedBody .ml-form-checkboxRow .label-description::before, #mlb2-14362371.ml-form-embedContainer .ml-form-embedWrapper .ml-form-embedBody .ml-form-checkboxRow .label-description::after { top: 0px!important; box-sizing: border-box!important; } #mlb2-14362371.ml-form-embedContainer .ml-form-embedWrapper .ml-form-embedBody .ml-form-interestGroupsRow .ml-form-interestGroupsRowCheckbox .label-description::after { top: 0px!important; box-sizing: border-box!important; position: absolute; left: -1.5rem; display: block; width: 1rem; height: 1rem; content: “”; } #mlb2-14362371.ml-form-embedContainer .ml-form-embedWrapper .ml-form-embedBody .ml-form-interestGroupsRow .ml-form-interestGroupsRowCheckbox .label-description::before { top: 0px!important; box-sizing: border-box!important; } #mlb2-14362371.ml-form-embedContainer .ml-form-embedWrapper .ml-form-embedBody .custom-control-label::before { position: absolute; top: 4px; left: -1.5rem; display: block; width: 16px; height: 16px; pointer-events: none; content: “”; background-color: #ffffff; border: #adb5bd solid 1px; border-radius: 50%; } #mlb2-14362371.ml-form-embedContainer .ml-form-embedWrapper .ml-form-embedBody .custom-control-label::after { position: absolute; top: 2px!important; left: -1.5rem; display: block; width: 1rem; height: 1rem; content: “”; } #mlb2-14362371.ml-form-embedContainer .ml-form-embedWrapper .ml-form-embedBody .ml-form-embedPermissions .ml-form-embedPermissionsOptionsCheckbox .label-description::before, #mlb2-14362371.ml-form-embedContainer .ml-form-embedWrapper .ml-form-embedBody .ml-form-interestGroupsRow .ml-form-interestGroupsRowCheckbox .label-description::before, #mlb2-14362371.ml-form-embedContainer .ml-form-embedWrapper .ml-form-embedBody .ml-form-checkboxRow .label-description::before { position: absolute; top: 4px; left: -1.5rem; display: block; width: 16px; height: 16px; pointer-events: none; content: “”; background-color: #ffffff; border: #adb5bd solid 1px; border-radius: 50%; } #mlb2-14362371.ml-form-embedContainer .ml-form-embedWrapper .ml-form-embedBody .ml-form-embedPermissions .ml-form-embedPermissionsOptionsCheckbox .label-description::after { position: absolute; top: 0px!important; left: -1.5rem; display: block; width: 1rem; height: 1rem; content: “”; } #mlb2-14362371.ml-form-embedContainer .ml-form-embedWrapper .ml-form-embedBody .ml-form-checkboxRow .label-description::after { position: absolute; top: 0px!important; left: -1.5rem; display: block; width: 1rem; height: 1rem; content: “”; } #mlb2-14362371.ml-form-embedContainer .ml-form-embedWrapper .ml-form-embedBody .custom-radio .custom-control-label::after { background: no-repeat 50%/50% 50%; } #mlb2-14362371.ml-form-embedContainer .ml-form-embedWrapper .ml-form-embedBody .custom-checkbox .custom-control-label::after, #mlb2-14362371.ml-form-embedContainer .ml-form-embedWrapper .ml-form-embedBody .ml-form-embedPermissions .ml-form-embedPermissionsOptionsCheckbox .label-description::after, #mlb2-14362371.ml-form-embedContainer .ml-form-embedWrapper .ml-form-embedBody .ml-form-interestGroupsRow .ml-form-interestGroupsRowCheckbox .label-description::after, #mlb2-14362371.ml-form-embedContainer .ml-form-embedWrapper .ml-form-embedBody .ml-form-checkboxRow .label-description::after { background: no-repeat 50%/50% 50%; } #mlb2-14362371.ml-form-embedContainer .ml-form-embedWrapper .ml-form-embedBody .ml-form-fieldRow .custom-control, #mlb2-14362371.ml-form-embedContainer .ml-form-embedWrapper .ml-form-embedBody .ml-form-horizontalRow .custom-control { position: relative; display: block; min-height: 1.5rem; padding-left: 1.5rem; } #mlb2-14362371.ml-form-embedContainer .ml-form-embedWrapper .ml-form-embedBody .ml-form-fieldRow .custom-radio .custom-control-input, #mlb2-14362371.ml-form-embedContainer .ml-form-embedWrapper .ml-form-embedBody .ml-form-horizontalRow .custom-radio .custom-control-input, #mlb2-14362371.ml-form-embedContainer .ml-form-embedWrapper .ml-form-embedBody .ml-form-fieldRow .custom-checkbox .custom-control-input, #mlb2-14362371.ml-form-embedContainer .ml-form-embedWrapper .ml-form-embedBody .ml-form-horizontalRow .custom-checkbox .custom-control-input { position: absolute; z-index: -1; opacity: 0; box-sizing: border-box; padding: 0; } #mlb2-14362371.ml-form-embedContainer .ml-form-embedWrapper .ml-form-embedBody .ml-form-fieldRow .custom-radio .custom-control-label, #mlb2-14362371.ml-form-embedContainer .ml-form-embedWrapper .ml-form-embedBody .ml-form-horizontalRow .custom-radio .custom-control-label, #mlb2-14362371.ml-form-embedContainer .ml-form-embedWrapper .ml-form-embedBody .ml-form-fieldRow .custom-checkbox .custom-control-label, #mlb2-14362371.ml-form-embedContainer .ml-form-embedWrapper .ml-form-embedBody .ml-form-horizontalRow .custom-checkbox .custom-control-label { color: #000000; font-size: 12px!important; font-family: ‘Open Sans’, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; line-height: 22px; margin-bottom: 0; position: relative; vertical-align: top; font-style: normal; font-weight: 700; } #mlb2-14362371.ml-form-embedContainer .ml-form-embedWrapper .ml-form-embedBody .ml-form-fieldRow .custom-select, #mlb2-14362371.ml-form-embedContainer .ml-form-embedWrapper .ml-form-embedBody .ml-form-horizontalRow .custom-select { background-color: #ffffff !important; color: #333333 !important; border-color: #cccccc; border-radius: 4px !important; border-style: solid !important; border-width: 1px !important; font-family: ‘Lucida Sans Unicode’, ‘Lucida Grande’, sans-serif; font-size: 14px !important; line-height: 20px !important; margin-bottom: 0; margin-top: 0; padding: 10px 28px 10px 12px !important; width: 100% !important; box-sizing: border-box !important; max-width: 100% !important; height: auto; display: inline-block; vertical-align: middle; background: url(‘https://assets.mlcdn.com/ml/images/default/dropdown.svg’) no-repeat right .75rem center/8px 10px; -webkit-appearance: none; -moz-appearance: none; appearance: none; } #mlb2-14362371.ml-form-embedContainer .ml-form-embedWrapper .ml-form-embedBody .ml-form-horizontalRow { height: auto; width: 100%; float: left; } .ml-form-formContent.horozintalForm .ml-form-horizontalRow .ml-input-horizontal { width: 70%; float: left; } .ml-form-formContent.horozintalForm .ml-form-horizontalRow .ml-button-horizontal { width: 30%; float: left; } .ml-form-formContent.horozintalForm .ml-form-horizontalRow .ml-button-horizontal.labelsOn { padding-top: 25px; } .ml-form-formContent.horozintalForm .ml-form-horizontalRow .horizontal-fields { box-sizing: border-box; float: left; padding-right: 10px; } #mlb2-14362371.ml-form-embedContainer .ml-form-embedWrapper .ml-form-embedBody .ml-form-horizontalRow input { background-color: #ffffff; color: #333333; border-color: #cccccc; border-radius: 4px; border-style: solid; border-width: 1px; font-family: ‘Lucida Sans Unicode’, ‘Lucida Grande’, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px; margin-bottom: 0; margin-top: 0; padding: 10px 10px; width: 100%; box-sizing: border-box; overflow-y: initial; } #mlb2-14362371.ml-form-embedContainer .ml-form-embedWrapper .ml-form-embedBody .ml-form-horizontalRow button { background-color: #000000 !important; border-color: #000000; border-style: solid; border-width: 1px; border-radius: 4px; box-shadow: none; color: #ffffff !important; cursor: pointer; font-family: ‘Lucida Sans Unicode’, ‘Lucida Grande’, sans-serif; font-size: 14px !important; font-weight: 700; line-height: 20px; margin: 0 !important; padding: 10px !important; width: 100%; height: auto; } #mlb2-14362371.ml-form-embedContainer .ml-form-embedWrapper .ml-form-embedBody .ml-form-horizontalRow button:hover { background-color: #1F5014 !important; border-color: #1F5014 !important; } #mlb2-14362371.ml-form-embedContainer .ml-form-embedWrapper .ml-form-embedBody .ml-form-checkboxRow input[type=”checkbox”] { box-sizing: border-box; padding: 0; position: absolute; z-index: -1; opacity: 0; margin-top: 5px; margin-left: -1.5rem; overflow: visible; } #mlb2-14362371.ml-form-embedContainer .ml-form-embedWrapper .ml-form-embedBody .ml-form-checkboxRow .label-description { color: #000000; display: block; font-family: ‘Open Sans’, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; text-align: left; margin-bottom: 0; position: relative; vertical-align: top; } #mlb2-14362371.ml-form-embedContainer .ml-form-embedWrapper .ml-form-embedBody .ml-form-checkboxRow label { font-weight: normal; margin: 0; padding: 0; position: relative; display: block; min-height: 24px; padding-left: 24px; } #mlb2-14362371.ml-form-embedContainer .ml-form-embedWrapper .ml-form-embedBody .ml-form-checkboxRow label a { color: #000000; text-decoration: underline; } #mlb2-14362371.ml-form-embedContainer .ml-form-embedWrapper .ml-form-embedBody .ml-form-checkboxRow label p { color: #000000 !important; font-family: ‘Open Sans’, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif !important; font-size: 12px !important; font-weight: normal !important; line-height: 18px !important; padding: 0 !important; margin: 0 5px 0 0 !important; } #mlb2-14362371.ml-form-embedContainer .ml-form-embedWrapper .ml-form-embedBody .ml-form-checkboxRow label p:last-child { margin: 0; } #mlb2-14362371.ml-form-embedContainer .ml-form-embedWrapper .ml-form-embedBody .ml-form-embedSubmit { margin: 0 0 20px 0; float: left; width: 100%; } #mlb2-14362371.ml-form-embedContainer .ml-form-embedWrapper .ml-form-embedBody .ml-form-embedSubmit button { background-color: #000000 !important; border: none !important; border-radius: 4px !important; box-shadow: none !important; color: #ffffff !important; cursor: pointer; font-family: ‘Lucida Sans Unicode’, ‘Lucida Grande’, sans-serif !important; font-size: 14px !important; font-weight: 700 !important; line-height: 21px !important; height: auto; padding: 10px !important; width: 100% !important; box-sizing: border-box !important; } #mlb2-14362371.ml-form-embedContainer .ml-form-embedWrapper .ml-form-embedBody .ml-form-embedSubmit button.loading { display: none; } #mlb2-14362371.ml-form-embedContainer .ml-form-embedWrapper .ml-form-embedBody .ml-form-embedSubmit button:hover { background-color: #1F5014 !important; } .ml-subscribe-close { width: 30px; height: 30px; background: url(‘https://assets.mlcdn.com/ml/images/default/modal_close.png’) no-repeat; background-size: 30px; cursor: pointer; margin-top: -10px; margin-right: -10px; position: absolute; top: 0; right: 0; } .ml-error input, .ml-error textarea, .ml-error select { border-color: red!important; } .ml-error .custom-checkbox-radio-list { border: 1px solid red !important; border-radius: 4px; padding: 10px; } .ml-error .label-description, .ml-error .label-description p, .ml-error .label-description p a, .ml-error label:first-child { color: #ff0000 !important; } #mlb2-14362371.ml-form-embedContainer .ml-form-embedWrapper .ml-form-embedBody .ml-form-checkboxRow.ml-error .label-description p, #mlb2-14362371.ml-form-embedContainer .ml-form-embedWrapper .ml-form-embedBody .ml-form-checkboxRow.ml-error .label-description p:first-letter { color: #ff0000 !important; } @media only screen and (max-width: 400px){ .ml-form-embedWrapper.embedDefault, .ml-form-embedWrapper.embedPopup { width: 100%!important; } .ml-form-formContent.horozintalForm { float: left!important; } .ml-form-formContent.horozintalForm .ml-form-horizontalRow { height: auto!important; width: 100%!important; float: left!important; } .ml-form-formContent.horozintalForm .ml-form-horizontalRow .ml-input-horizontal { width: 100%!important; } .ml-form-formContent.horozintalForm .ml-form-horizontalRow .ml-input-horizontal > div { padding-right: 0px!important; padding-bottom: 10px; } .ml-form-formContent.horozintalForm .ml-button-horizontal { width: 100%!important; } .ml-form-formContent.horozintalForm .ml-button-horizontal.labelsOn { padding-top: 0px!important; } } .ml-mobileButton-horizontal { display: none; } #mlb2-14362371 .ml-mobileButton-horizontal button { background-color: #000000 !important; border-color: #000000 !important; border-style: solid !important; border-width: 1px !important; border-radius: 4px !important; box-shadow: none !important; color: #ffffff !important; cursor: pointer; font-family: ‘Lucida Sans Unicode’, ‘Lucida Grande’, sans-serif !important; font-size: 14px !important; font-weight: 700 !important; line-height: 20px !important; padding: 10px !important; width: 100% !important; } @media only screen and (max-width: 400px) { #mlb2-14362371.ml-form-embedContainer .ml-form-embedWrapper .ml-form-embedBody .ml-form-formContent.horozintalForm { padding: 0 0 10px 0 !important; } .ml-hide-horizontal { display: none !important; } .ml-form-formContent.horozintalForm .ml-button-horizontal { display: none!important; } .ml-mobileButton-horizontal { display: inline-block !important; margin-bottom: 20px;width:100%; } .ml-form-formContent.horozintalForm .ml-form-horizontalRow .ml-input-horizontal > div { padding-bottom: 0px !important; } } @media only screen and (max-width: 400px) { .ml-form-formContent.horozintalForm .ml-form-horizontalRow .horizontal-fields { margin-bottom: 10px !important; width: 100% !important; } }

function ml_webform_success_14362371() { var $ = ml_jQuery || jQuery; $(‘.ml-subscribe-form-14362371 .row-success’).show(); $(‘.ml-subscribe-form-14362371 .row-form’).hide(); } fetch(“https://assets.mailerlite.com/jsonp/918262/forms/119754241083442421/takel”)

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